So you’ve met that special someone who you have a great connection with and have been spending a lot of time with. Even your close friends think this is a match made in heaven and you tend to stay over most nights during the week, so it would make sense for the two of you to take it to the next level of your relationship and think about moving in together.
Despite the undeniable compatibility you both have, living together is a whole different ballgame. You will soon see a whole different side of your partner. In the beginning you will go through a period where you adjust to life living together and embracing each other’s habits and schedules.
It involves a lot of trust, honesty and communication. Without this solid foundation, it is a recipe for trouble for the foreseeable future. Get all your ducks in a row and make sure the decision to live together works for the both of you. It is important to ensure that you both are on the same page to avoid any heated arguments or certain expectations not being met.
Start off by having a discussion in a private and quiet setting and talk about the possibility of living together and what part each of you will play to ensure all things run as smoothly as possible. Of course you can’t predict what the future will hold, but you can both make a commitment to understanding your individual needs and to listening to one another. A suggestion would be that each of you write things down and discuss and you can always refer back to this list and change it up at a later date if you wish. You can make it as formal or informal as you like, but it’s good to have something written down should either one of you have an issue later on.
The opportunity to share more in each other’s lives and spend more time together outweighs any possible negative points. Bad bathroom habits or tidiness or lack thereof, is something you can both compromise on.
That brings us up to the next point… compromise. As humans we each have our own ways of doing things. It is important to remember that although you have a specific style, not everyone, even your partner, will have the same idea and may do things a little differently to you. Each person’s individuality is unique and to have a good level of understanding of this is essential to the relationship. It is important to talk it out rather than let out your frustrations in a single moment. It doesn’t help matters if you fly off the handle and vent your frustrations. Be prepared to have the odd argument here or there, but it comes down to how you handle these moments and learn from it to prevent a recurring issue in the future and to be able to live in harmony with one another.
Another thing to consider is any cultural differences that either one or both of you may have. You have to exercise some flexibility to accommodate various situations. Whether this comes down to religious commitments or the type of food in the house or even situations that involve family and friends coming over, you both should have a rough idea of how these will be addressed.
One of the most important things to discuss is the financial situation. It is not an easy topic to bring up between two people. Financial input varies from couple to couple and this comes down to how much each person can contribute before thinking about living together. Some decide to go half and half, others choose to scale contributions based on each partner’s individual income. Have an agreement in place that works for you both to avoid any hiccups further down the track.
Moving in together requires a good chunk of planning around logistics of the move and what items stay and what items will go to accommodate both of your belongings. You might think about getting rid of one of the TV’s or the extra sofa you have or perhaps using a storage unit to house the extra goods until you figure out where everything will go. Once you have a move in date in mind, it would be a good idea to get in touch with local moving companies early and establish the availability to help with the move. Otherwise, you can enlist the help of family and friends to help out on the big day. I’m sure they will be more than happy to assist in any way they can.
Living together with your significant other is a true blessing – you get to share your whole self with one another, cheeky jokes and details only you two know about, a secret language that only the two of you will understand. You get to come home and ask about their day and you will always be the first point of call should any good or bad news arrive. You are their confidante and next thing you know you wonder how you became so lucky to meet this wonderful person in your life.
With that being said, it’s always good to remember that even though you live under the same room, it does not mean that you have to do everything together. It is important that you each have your own hobbies whether that be inside your home and outside with family and friends. You want to maintain your own sense of individuality and not fall into the lull that some couples fall into after a long period of time together.
Try to avoid the “comfortable” stage where you waltz around in your sleepwear all day or assume you know what the other is thinking or feeling and stop making an effort. It’s all about the visual so help keep the romance alive and remember to always schedule in date nights and fun activities to keep things interesting. Relationships should not be taken for granted and here’s where good communication will keep things on an even keel.
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